Thursday, April 21, 2011
If you want to be metal like me...
If you like bubblegum, velcro, and the Mickey Mouse club, don't buy this album. Buy something by Avril Lavine or whatever (but you won't be very metal in my book).
If you like man-ponytails, tie dye t-shirts, and mandals (that's sandals for men of course), then don't buy this album. Buy Phish or the Grateful Dead or whatever (nothing against them, they're fine musicians, they're just...not that metal).
But if you like breathing and/or being alive, and you want to be as metal as possible, you need to check out Symphony X. They will blow your mind out of your ear-hole, and then smoosh it all back in there like some kind of demented neurosurgeon, for the sole purpose of blowing your mind back out the other ear-hole. And they'll repeat it until you ask them to stop. But then they wont. And you wont want them to.
All joking aside, if you like Metallica but wouldn't mind if they were a little more innovative with their song structure, you'll like this band. Their last album, Paradise Lost, is a good place to start.
Anyways, that is all. Get ready to mop your brains off the floor. Rose out.