Thursday, March 31, 2011

Everafter and Forevermore, we shall inbreed...

Wow, David Coverdale is still at it. I'm impressed. The guy must be at least 70 years old (maybe 60? Oh, 60 even- thanks wikipedia), and he's still leading Whitesnake, and their new album, Forevermore is actually quite good. Touché Mr. Coverdale, touché. This is just one of those feel-good 80's bands: awesome, wholesome, classy. Love it, I really do.

I know a lot about metal, I think it's fair to say, and I've come to realize that heavy metal is a lot like the Habsburgs, i.e. super inbred. The Habsburgs were a European royal family who were distinguished by their awesome "Habsburg Chin" mutation that they all had, and by their overall good looks (the picture below is of a Habsburg ruler who was literally called Philip the Handsome).

So I'm listening to this new Whitesnake album, and running through the inbred genealogy of 80's metal:

-Whitesnake's current guitar player is Reb Beach who also played in...
-Winger (yes!), Alice Cooper band, and Dokken, whose guitar player was...
-Doug Aldrich, who also played guitar in...
-Dio!! Whose lead singer and namesake Ronnie James Dio also sang for...
-Black Sabbath, whose former singer was...
-Ozzy! Who, in his solo career, employed my favorite guitar player of all time...
-Steve Vai! Who was in David Lee Roth band, Zappa, and...
-Yep, Whitesnake.

It all comes full circle. Not convinced at the inbredness of metal? Here's another path back to Whitesnake:

-Whitenake has Reb Beach who played in...
-Dokken, whose bass player was...
-Jeff Pilson, who then started a band called War and Peace whose guitar player was...
-Satchel! who is currently in Steel Panther, which was formerly a tribute band to...
-Van Halen! Whose former lead singer was...
-David Lee Roth, who had his own band with guitar player...
-Steve Vai!! Who was in Whitesnake!

I'm tellin you man...Habsburgs. For your viewing pleasure, here is a picture of Charles II (yes, a dude) of the Habsburgs, displaying a lovely example of the mighty Habsburg Lip.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Efficient Use of Proprietary Materials

It's 1:15am. Just finished a Bio section and got a 13 = awesome balls! Awesome ones. I need to go to sleep right now, but I'm just too stoked. And you know how I make myself more stoked? With this song. This song makes me want to rock out with my cock out. Perhaps even jam out with my ham out. Rip it up with my... uh... shred out with my...head out?


That was actually really good considering that I am wired. I'm definitely starting a sik metal band in med all I have to do is keep rocking the MCAT so I can get in to med school, so I can start my band, so I can quit med school and be a rock star...

Woot to this Bio Section. Will review how I rocked it tomorrow.


1 week left.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Edited and Updated: Statistics for Pre-meds

Enabling, or the Axl Rose Free Prescription Plan

It has come to my attention that there might be some confusion as to the central thesis of this blog. While it is entitled "Stealing Med School", the url is simply "stealingmed", perhaps suggesting that this blog will instruct you in methods of illegally acquiring medications.

While this blog is actually supposed to be about getting in to medical school, and loving metal, I'm not one to disappoint those readers who got here through some dodgy google search. Without further ado, I present here my definitive guide to stealing medication!

1) Go to the ER and tell them you have "stomach pain". That one works 90% of the time, every time. Stomach pain is apparently impossible to diagnose, so they'll just give you an unlimited scrip for morphene...hehe, dumb doctors. None the wiser.

2) Go to a store, and discretely fill your pants with pills from the shelf. When the checkout person asks you if there is a bunch of meds in your pants, you say, "No, I just reeeally like your blouse/pant-suit/pinafore!" He/she will be so overwhelmed by your charm, they'll probably pass out and you can stroll right out the door.

3) Break in to a pill factory through the air duct (which is apparently is never secured/suspected/covered by a security camera even though that's how they get in in every movie ever). Fill your pants with pills. Head for the exit. When the night-watchman asks you if you're supposed to be down here, answer "I'm...uh...your pinafore is very fetching...?" then punch him in the face. He will pass out instantly (I can't say I've tested this myself, but every TV show ever can't be wrong). His partner will aim his gun at you and shoot 15-18 times while you run out the exit, but all the bullets will miss.

There you have it! Enjoy your Axl Rose Free Prescription Plan.

disclaimer: It has come to my attention that I could probably get the pants sued off me for soliciting theft. I like my pants: please don't steal, and have a nice day.

Epic meh...

>What, like 10 days to go? Just scored a 12 on physical section...meh.

Total amount of sleep I expect to get tongight: 5 hrs
Total amounft of sleep I expect to get in the next 10 days: 20 hrs?
Total amount of time I should be spending on blog posts right now: 0 hours, and hey, give me back the 2 minutes I just spent on this one!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Epic Win / I miss the Darkness!

This post was supposed to be about how I rocked my last MCAT practice test, and I was going to add that picture of Justin Hawkins giving the thumbs up at the end of the "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" video (which I did not find), but I got totally distracted by how much I miss this band (The Darkness). [sigh...] They were so ultra bomb(astic), and the songwriting was solid. In fact, I now realize that their departure left me Hole Hearted (cough cough Extreme reference), and this Steel Panther kick I've been on is clearly my attempt to fill that hole. To their credit, Steel Panther ARE great at filling holes. They're on Hole Patrol, 24/7 (cough cough Steel Panther album reference).

Anyways, come back Darkness. You clearly need the money - Hot Leg is just OK and Stone Gods (if they are still a band even) bore me to tears.

And yes, I got a 38 on my practice MCAT test on saturday morning, which is tit. We'll see what happens on the real <2 weeks. I should be nervous, but I see it as <2 weeks to freedome (freeeeeedome... cough cough Jimi Hendrix reference. Come back Jimi...)

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


It's 2:05am. Just finished a full length and got a 32 = monkey balls. Greasy ones. I need to go to sleep right now, but I'm just not happy. And you know how I make myself happy? With this song. This song makes me want to rock out with my cock out. Perhaps even jam out with my ham out. Rip it up with my... uh... shred out with my...head out?


That was actually really good considering that I am asleep. I'm definitely starting a sik metal band in med all I have to do is stop choking on the MCAT so I can get in to med school, so I can start my band, so I can quit med school and be a rock star...

Boo to this BS. Will review where I went wrong tomorrow.


2 weeks left.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011


So I took the meyers-briggs personality test twice today from two different websites, and got the same results twice, which I guess is encouraging: I probably don't have split personality disorder, and perhaps there is something to it since I got it twice. Reproducibility counts for something in my book. Apparently, I am ENTP, which is "the inventor", like Tesla (him again...), and Walt Disney. I'm in good company.

E=extroverted. I could have told you that.
N=intuition. As opposed to sensing. I'm more abstract than concrete. Yes sir, I'm a big picture kind of guy. A dreamer. I trust my gut feelings and go with them.

T=thinking. As opposed to feeling. I am a sucker for logic I suppose. But this was my least strong attribute both times, so I am pretty feeling as well. Complete package really.
P=perceiving. As opposed to judging. I hang back, watch the battlefield before picking my side.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Steel Fanther

Currently in my ears: Nightmare by Avenged Sevenfold (I keep waiting for these guys to put out a sucky album. I keep getting disappointed, although this one is better than their last one).

Currently in my brain: I want to go to UVA med school! It's in a bomb town (Charlottesville, VA), but mostly, the people seem really cool (according to my gf, who got in there, as well as 2 other schools and is trying to decide). To get in to UVA (or anywhere else) I need to rock the balls off the MCAT. Which I can do in theory. 3 weeks and counting. Feeling good...much work still to do.

Currently in my mouth: Coffee. Decaf :(

Currently stuck cycling somewhere between my ears and brain: Steel Panther - Community Property.

Currently on my computer screen: Redraft of my personal statement - it's coming along nicely, but still needs much TLC. Which I dont have time for... or maybe I do if I have time to post on my blog...I need to go.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

International Best Fake Metal Bands Awards - Winners Announced!

By me! As voted by me! If you disagree with my rankings, then that's ok - you'll learn more about metal and become awesomer like me if you study hard! Then you'll see that you were wrong to disagree with me. My evaluation system was very objective: each band received points in 10 categories including "Looks most like girls", "Notes-per-second", and "Pelvic-thrusts to splits ratio". Each category carried a maximum of 10 points.

5) Zazz Blammymatazz (84/100) - Most of their points came from having Dr. Rockso for a frontman. Major pros; Unequalled stage show. Also, he does cocaine. Major cons; no recorded material has ever been found that can be verifiably attributed to Zazz Blammymatazz. 10/10 in the "Does Cocaine" category.

4) Post-Slash Guns'n'Roses - (86/100) - OH GNR! You crazy fake band! So over the top! So orchestral and self-referential! Imagine taking 10 years to record an album- roflcopter! Wait what's that?... They're a real band? cant be right...
3) Steel Panther - (93/100) - Bonus points for being the only currently active and real human fake band in the top 5. They are building a big following. They are featured in the top 5 today mostly based on their rad album "Feel the Steel". Excellent guitaring, excellent singing, very high hair (10/10 in the "Hair volume to surface area ratio" category), and more than 26 colors per outfit per band member (earlier today they received the top award for Fake Metal Band with Most Colors and Who Look Like Girls).
2) Spinal Tap - (94/100) They started it all. And they really play their instruments, so live shows are a go. As far as fake metal goes, these are the godfathers. Noteable tracks: Lick my Love Pump, Bitch School, Shark Sandwich. Just missed the top spot today due to some fake bands who were awarded more points in the "notes-per-second" category.

1) Dethklok - (98/100) - For sheer technical ability, you have to give it to Dethklok. We all die for Dethklok. The biggest issue is that the band is essentially one man in real life, making live performances tricky. But these ranking are not based on real life so...rock on. On the plus side, they have an awesome weekly rockumentary airing on TV chronicling their world domination. Also Skwisgaar Skwigelf is probably the #1 fake metal guitarist!

There you have it folks. The un-arguable, perfectly objective rankings for fake metal bands. Feel free to argue with me in the comments section - I will feel free to correct you. RoCk!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

My Cool Story for the Day, Bro

Today is a red letter day - 39 on a practice Kaplan full length! V12, P13, B14. Crazy. Now just have to keep the pace up for another month. Word of warning though to any Kaplaners out there in internet land, Kaplan full length 2 is supposedly easier than the others. I spoke to people from past Kaplan classes, and everybody does best on FL2. But people also said they usually scored just a little below FL2 on the real thing, so here's hoping!

Other than that, frikkin weekend - about time. Going for a walk in the mountains, then back to the books. Adios Amigos.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Sanity Lost, or, I Know What I Did This Friday Night

Just finished my midterm for Anat'n'Phys. Shadowing yesterday and volunteering day before that. Community service tomorrow (kids soccer, so actually fun). Working on my personal statement (it's coming along finally, found some really great advice on that topic :
/achieve/pstips.html). Oh yeah, and f'ing MCAT in 4 weeks and 0 days. Listening to lots of metal, and also Virtue by Eldar, an amazing amazing jazz pianist who is younger than me. I hate people who are younger than me...

Anyways, depriving myself of sleep. I'm pretty sure, or else the naked green easter bunny sitting across from me playing checkers is real. Damn you naked easter bunny, you win again. Damn you straight to hell...

GF got in to her 3rd med school. I hate people who are younger than me. Time to hit the hay - either that or there really is a naked green easter bunny dry-humping my leg.

Also, if you like listening to things, listen to Paradise Lost by my favorite band, Symphony X. It's progressive metal. It's the tits. And strangely enough, I'm now having hardcore deja vu, triggered by the combination of bunnies, Symphony X, and the could I have possibly combined those in the the future oooohhhh!!!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


Today I will be shadowing at an Osteopathic Manipulative Treatment (OMT) clinic...hmmm. I am excited because a) I have heard about this stuff but have never seen it in action, b) therefore I will learn something new, and c) I have never shadowed a DO, so this will hopefully go a long way towards helping me decide how I feel about DO. It doesnt get any DO'er than OMT clinic.

At the same time, my personal statement needs to be happening, and it's just...not. I wrote a bitching one last time, and now I am having trouble not repeating myself, keeping it fresh. All I need is a stroke of brilliance, an epiphany from on high to descend in to my brain and spill on to paper. I need Zeus to look upon me with adoring, proud eyes, holding back tears as he beholds his most magnificent creation. Then I want to punch him in the nads, collect his tears, and bathe my sheet of paper in them, then allow the paper to dry and develop it under UV light to reveal my personal statement.

I want Chuck Norris to write a personal statement about how much awesomer than him I am. Then I want to plagiarize his statement.


Back to the drawing bored

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Gettin' a Grip!

It's all on track! Less than 5 weeks (I think right?) and I'm feeling pretty on top of the material, or at least more on top of it than when I got a 32 two years ago, which is good!

Posts are a a little "few and far in between" cause I am dedicating majority of my spare time to this MCAT crap. I have just finished all the material I need to get thru except bio. Still a little worried about Gen Chem, but have plenty of time to plug the leaks. Listening to "Shut Up and Dance" off my favorite Aerosmith album, "Get a Grip". Loving life - its all good today!

edit: It's 1am on Sunday night, and I just finished an official AAMC MCAT physics section, and got a 13!!!!!! I'm stoked. Especially considering that I got a 9 on the real thing 2 years ago. This is huge - its awesome to see my work paying off! I rock. I was going to do a bio section tonight, but I am going to sleep instead... Bio is all memorization anyways, and I haven't done any memorization yet. Onward and upward.