Monday, August 22, 2011

Women: You are all banned from Netflix for ever

Here's what a proper Netflix cue should look like, (i.e. when I'm in charge):

Terminator 4 - Arnold blowing shit up

Independence Day - Will Smith punching aliens on the nose

Star Trek - Captain Kirk blowing shit up + punching aliens

Mad Max - Postapocalyptic car world with Mad Max punching stuff

Ozzfest Live - Rockumentary of a metal festival; sex drugs and rock n roll

Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny - Jack Black on shrooms and rocking out.

Shawn of the Dead - Zombies getting sliced up

Resident Evil: Afterlife - Hot babe kills zombies

And here is what happens to an awesome netflix cue after a female gets a hold of it (yes, I'm talking about you HMV):

Temple Grandin - The story of an autistic lady who loves a horse or some shit

Black Beauty - The story of a horse and the girl who loved him

Babies - A movie about 4 babies who crawl around a lot and shit themselves

Teen Mom - A bunch of hoary girls hang out and complain about their lives

Princess Kaiulani - A hawaiian princess finds herself in England

Army Wives - A bunch of army wives betray eachother over and over again and then bitch about it

Letters to Juliet - Some chick writes a letter and becomes Juliet in Italy

Hotel Rwanda - A bunch of depressing shit

Magic Sexy Beauty Horse - The story of a retarded girl saved by a horse

Sacred Brown - The story of a little girl and the cow she loved to milk

Now honestly, I don't care who you are - which netflix queue do YOU go for? Right?

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