Friday, July 15, 2011

Me + Sunshine = That marshmallow you forgot in the fire

I have come to learn about myself the following fact:

My body hates sunshine.

To let the proverbial cat out of the bag regarding my race, my people come from the north. The far, far north. If I had to choose an environment to camouflage perfectly in to, I would choose to stand stark-balls naked in front of a fresh snowfall. I would disappear. My people are used to winters where the sun literally disappears for a few days a year. And you know what? I love it that way. I enjoy the sun more as a concept than as a thing.

Which is why living in the American Southwest does not agree with me. I can't go outside without burning, and every weekend I get heat stroke from playing soccer for a couple hours on Saturday mornings. Literally, I play soccer every Saturday morning, and I spend the rest of the weekend with a headache due to sun exposure. It sucks. This morning, I waited for the bus for 15 minutes, and now I feel dizzy and disorientated. Sun-drunk.

Anyways, this all makes me very pleased to announce that I am officially moving to New England, where the summers are short, the winters are cold, and the people are warm (some of you might think that I am being facetious, but all three of those statements are true!). The people of the Southwest are very warm too, but mostly I'm tired of spending my life running from AC to AC, and sweltering like Satan's taint in between. I miss shoveling snow! I miss scraping ice off my windshield! I miss going shirtless in the summer and not getting any browner at all!


  1. Welcome to the North (a little early)! Fair warning. It's been balls hot here too.