Sunday, December 11, 2011

An Astute Observation

So it has been a week since I wrote in this blog, and I (approximately) quote: "2-3 days from now I will know one way or another if I got in to med school or not." Unquote.

I have thusly made the following astute observation: logic dictates that one of two state of affairs must have come to pass (states of affair?). Either:

1) 3-4 days ago I was accepted to medical school. I drank champagne and celebrated with my homies. I partied like a rockstar, drank like an Irishman, and ate watermelon like a boss. All was good in world, and I quit my job to backpack around Europe with my cat Bobbins Magellan Mouse-Destroyer 3000. I came back, and found that I had 12 other med school acceptances, so I played them off against eachother until 5 of them offered me full scholarships. I then settled on a school in Boston that offered me $20k per semester to go there. Bitches loved me.


2) 3-4 days ago I was not accepted to medical school. I drank Wild Turkey whiskey and passed out in the urinal at KFC. Hours later, I woke up in a police station where I was questioned about the whereabouts of my accomplices in the bank robbery I pulled off earlier that day. Upon insisting that they had the wrong guy, they showed me the security footage at the bank, and the bank robber did indeed look an awful lot like me. In the footage, I try to make a getaway on a giraffe that had escaped from the zoo - and I do not get away. It then turned out that, in fact, it was me. I went to prison. I tried to join a prison gang for protection, but was rejected on account of that I failed to get in to medical school, and was therefore uncool.

Logic dictates that ONE of these scenarios MUST have come to pass since I was ABSOLUTELY supposed to find out 3-4 days ago whether I got in to med school or not.

In fact, a third scenario has come to pass, one that I feel quite foolish not to have anticipated: the med school that was going to make a decision and let me know 3-4 days ago did not make a decision, and did not contact me 3-4 days ago. I continue to sit and wait like a chode in the wind...

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