Merry New Year Bitches!

The X-mas season has come and gone, and a new year upon is almost upon us. Presents were exchanged, food was et, and all in all, it has been a good year. I'm just about ready for my winter nap [yaaawwwwnnn], well, I guess that's it, see you all in the spring.

What's that? I didn't give you a present for Xmas? Hmmm... I know I had it somewhere... ah yes:




A Christmas Message to My Loyal Minions
by Axl Rose

Twas the night after christmas, and all up in this bitch,
People had heard about Axl's big switch.
No longer a pre-med, but now an M-zero,
Axl was cooler than Robert De Niro.

Ho's now adore him! And men are all jelly
From Cali to London to Spain and New Delhi!
All will converge just to pay their respect,
to give him some candy, and then genuflect.

The world is his oyster, and wouldn't you know,
He's now more attractive, why, dang'rously so:
The men all turn gay when they see Axl dance,
And lesbos turn straight just so they have a chance.

They all bat their lashes and flash him their eyes,
In vain hope of making dear Axl Rose rise.
They forget of course that, since he went MD,
He's far too high-class for such Tom-foolery.

Yessir life is good, things are pretty much set
It's downhill from here, goals are pretty much met.
He'll fly right through med school with Honors and A's,
The profs will adore him (cause now they're all gays).

A couple more years and he'll be an attending.
He'll get a Ferrari without over-spending.
He'll buy himself zebras to ride through the town
and also a gold-plated rad midget clown.

All of these things are the future no doubt,
So Axl will sit back and let it play out.
And so, gentle reader, do I invite you,
To watch it all happen with me, and some poo.


Merry New Year