Protest the Gyro

Ho. Lee. Shit.

Today is a good day. Sorry HMV, but it's time for a metal-related post. Today I discovered my new favorite band - Protest the Hero. They are from Canada, like proto-prog rockers Rush, and they are astounding. Perfect. Just perfect. Technical but tasteful. Virtuosic but hooky. Perfect. I will listen to their entire catalogue over the next day or two, and report back.

Today is a good day. Sorry HMV, but it's time for a beer-related post. Today a new friend of mine gave me a home-brewed beer. I was impressed enough that he was able to brew a beer at home period, but this beer is perfect. Dark but springy. Chocolatey but rich and serious. Totally badass.

Well, tomorrow I'm off to Maine to hang out with some college friends of mine - there will be debauchery, which is sorely needed after all this work and applications and Kaplan and stuff. Then on Tuesday, it's back to the desert for my second interview of the season. THEN, its HMV's white coat ceremony! Very sweet.

Adios amigos!

So Many G's, So Many Ho's

As many of you may know, I am a talented musician. One of my many talents is songwriting - I can pop them out in like 2 seconds. In fact, here is one that I just wrote right this second:

Ohhhhhhhhh
I got so many Benjamins
And you aint got none!
I bought a coffee for myself
And you cain't have some!

Fo dinner I'ma reheat
Some Hobolognese
Fo brekfast I'ma eat
Cold pizza from yesterdayz!

Ohhhh Haters Gonna Hate
I got so many G's
Ohh Haters Gonna Hate
I got so much cheez!

Last night in the club
The ladies thought I was fine
I stepped on the dancefloor
And made it rain dimes!

So much money ho
You ain't neva seen
I show you so many Washingtons
You'll only see green

And I ain't talkin bout
No quarters, puh-laise!
I'm talkin bout them ones bitch
I'm rich like Hollandaise

So Haters Gonna Hate
I got so many G's
Oh Haters Gonna Hate
I got so much cheez!

Yesterday I went to Subway
And bought me a samwich
I got 40 cents change
And tossed in the can bitch!

When you got so much cash
It's weighing you down
Just grab a fistful of it,
And spend it on the town!

Like go to starbucks
get a grande not a tall!
Or go to the market
And buy 2-ply y'all!

Cause Haters Gonna Hate
I got so may G's
Yeah Haters Gonna Hate
I got so much cheez!



Gangsta yo! Tupac!

Enabling, or the Axl Rose Free Prescription Plan

It has come to my attention that there might be some confusion as to the central thesis of this blog. While it is entitled "Stealing Med School", the url is simply "stealingmed", perhaps suggesting that this blog will instruct you in methods of illegally acquiring medications.

While this blog is actually supposed to be about getting in to medical school, and loving metal, I'm not one to disappoint those readers who got here through some dodgy google search. Without further ado, I present here my definitive guide to stealing medication!

1) Go to the ER and tell them you have "stomach pain". That one works 90% of the time, every time. Stomach pain is apparently impossible to diagnose, so they'll just give you an unlimited scrip for morphene...hehe, dumb doctors. None the wiser.

2) Go to a store, and discretely fill your pants with pills from the shelf. When the checkout person asks you if there is a bunch of meds in your pants, you say, "No, I just reeeally like your blouse/pant-suit/pinafore!" He/she will be so overwhelmed by your charm, they'll probably pass out and you can stroll right out the door.

3) Break in to a pill factory through the air duct (which is apparently is never secured/suspected/covered by a security camera even though that's how they get in in every movie ever). Fill your pants with pills. Head for the exit. When the night-watchman asks you if you're supposed to be down here, answer "I'm...uh...your pinafore is very fetching...?" then punch him in the face. He will pass out instantly (I can't say I've tested this myself, but every TV show ever can't be wrong). His partner will aim his gun at you and shoot 15-18 times while you run out the exit, but all the bullets will miss.

There you have it! Enjoy your Axl Rose Free Prescription Plan.






disclaimer: It has come to my attention that I could probably get the pants sued off me for soliciting theft. I like my pants: please don't steal, and have a nice day.

My crazy-ass, bacchanalian saturday night party-fest

It's time to party, Let's party!!
Hang out with yourself and have a crazy party
Hey you, let's party
Have a killer party and Party!

Its almost midnight on a Saturday, and I'm shWASTED!!!!

Wasted on knowledge, that is! That's right, I just spent my saturday night studying the integument and histology of connective and epithelial tissues. Just in time to go to sleep so that I wan wake up and study for the MCAT.

My life is such a party. It's funny how different my Saturday nights are now than they were in college... Ah me. College. A typical saturday night in college ended with me passed out with a nerf dart stuck to my face, sleeping on a pile of unopened juice bottles stolen from a vending machine downstairs.

My top 5 greatest Saturday night moments in college:

5) Climbing the 15-foot polar bear statue at my alma mater at 1am. In the winter. In a state that has a polar bear for a mascot.

4) Taking photos of my roommate who actually managed not only to scale the icy 15-foot polar bear statue but to also maneuver himself on to it's head so as to make it seem that the bear was doing my friend a very special favor.

3) Waking up with Ramen all down my self on a couch on Sunday morning. Frikkin class right there.

2) Completing a self-made treasure hunt (which was still surprisingly hard) with my 3 roomates, the four of us in green face paint and wearing ninja turtle outfits made for 5-year olds. Hilarious. Priceless. On DVD.

1) Oh lord, I dont even know. Peeing on a dumpster? Being duct-taped in to a cold-ass shower with my Polish roommate? Winning a milk-and-OJ-chugging bet with a friend which then required him to fellatio a banana in the dining hall while yelling a particularly hilarious admission to the audience?


So many things to be proud of... And that all is why I am studying for the MCAT instead of studying for my Step 1s! But you know, honestly, I don't know that I would trade it all just to be in med school sooner. You can't buy memories like those. I chose the long way 'round, but I'll get there in the end. I have a plan, and it's unfolding nicely :)