Plastic Surgery and Getting Beast!

On Thursday, I am meeting with a plastic surgeon in regards to getting a research gig in his lab.  I'm really excited because I am thinking I might be interested in plastic surgery as a specialty.  I have worked with plastic surgeons in research before, and I have to say, they do some really really cool shit.  The dude I'm meeting on Thursday peels kids's faces off, cuts their facial bones apart, and glues them back together to repair facial defects. Bad Ass.

Plastics is of course notoriously hard to match in to.  The match rate for most specialties is well above 80%.  For plastics, it's under 50%, meaning that less than half of people who want to become plastic surgeons out of med school do so.  Whatever, if you're super-driven to pursue something, you just go for it and make it happen.  I have to say, the more I learn about the business of medicine, the more surprised I am by the variety of work that falls under the purview of this profession.  As a physician, you could do anything from sit at home looking at slides of cells to threading electrodes in to peoples hearts.  Crazy.

In other news, Heavy Metal Vixen and I are exercising like beasts.  With summer approaching, we both need to look super sexy for all the ladies and the mans.  Being a power couple just isn't as easy as it ought to be.

This is me ------------>

I've been working on my pecs and bi's and tri's.  Curls, pull-ups, and of course, moustache-ups.  At the time this photo was taken, I was simultaneously trying to break the chain in my hands and break the wind from my butt.  And doing a moustache-up.

<-------------This is Heavy Metal Vixen (and, I believe, an example of hardcore porn from the 30's)

She's been doing a lot of cardio. Eliptical, jogging, and biking.  This is an actual photo of her biking.  I have suggested a more practical outfit, spandex or something, but she insists that the stockings and stilettos improve circulation to her extremities.  I don't know about all that, although it definitely improves circulation to one of MY extremities.  heh.

Metalhead to Ivy Med

So a couple days ago, I was accepted to an Ivy League med school. 

I'm just going to type that again. Accepted. To an Ivy League med school. That just doesn't even feel right under my fingers. It doesn't feel real. And when I realize that it IS real, I just feel humbled. I know I know, it's not like Axl Rose to be humble, but there you have it- strange things happen. And me going to a top med school is one of them. Somehow I got from A to B:

 A = Graduated college with a terrible, terrible GPA, tried to become a rockstar in NYC, failed, studied for the MCAT, applied, failed to get in to med school.  Picked myself up off the floor, and got cracking again.

 B = 2 years later, accepted to a ridiculous, top medical school.

So how did this happen? Hell I don't know. Some mixture of good luck, fortuity, and adventituosity. But perhaps there is a method to the madness you say, some secret underlying order to the chaos? Hmm... I think it's time for another long-awaited installment of:

"Axl Rose's Fully-guaranteed Partially-funded Semi-transparent Trans-fat-free Ultimate Good Fun Times Guide To Going from Metal-Head to Ivy-Med"


Step 1: Fail

I can't understate the importance of starting off strong, by failing.  Failing puts you at square 1, which is where the magic happens.  Square 1 is the place where all things are possible because you've lost everything else, and nothing but the black, gaping maw of possibility lies ahead.  And stuff.

Step 2: Run

Run hard ahead, headfirst in to the buffeting wind, letting obstacles strike but glancing blows and drop clattering in your wake.  And shit like that.  From square 1, you gotta fight to get to square 2, and there will be a million other people trying to get there ahead of you.  In my case, step 2 involved taking the MCAT for the second time and reapplying.  That sucked.  Life was really hard.  But you keep running.

Step 3: Repeat Steps 1 & 2 If Necessary


Fail, run, fail, run.  If you have a goal and you keep running at it, you'll get there or die trying.  Simple as that.

Step 4: Winning


A weird feeling.  When you finally get to where you were tryin to go.  It's the best feeling in the world, and at the same time, it's weird to not have to fight, to stop running.  You've gotten there.  You did it.  Now what?

Luckily, there's usually a gaping black maw of possibility right around the corner.  Yes!  Start running in to that one!  In my case, the challenge ahead is medical school.  Then residency.  Then life.  Bring it.

So hatredy.

The latest goings on:

1) I am accepted to a sweet med school in Boston. As of now, I plan to matriculate there in August.

2) I am waiting to hear back from a top-tier Ivy League ultra-fancy-pants med school here in Metalton. Should they offer me a spot, I would have a tough decision on my hands. Should they offer me a waitlist, well then shit, this thing could drag out all summer. Speaking of summer...

3) I will be in Filthadelphia for the summer! I will be doing research in West Philly in June and July. It'll be sad to be away from Heavy Metal Vixen and Bobbins Magellan Mouse-Destroyer 3000, but it beats the snot out of pouring coffee and pole dancing at the Filthy Gunslinger all summer long. That pole can get real slick in the summer months... downright dangerous.

4) Latest music discoveries include Angel Vivaldi (thanks broseph!), Foxy Shazam (a retro Freddy Mercury clone, on top 40 radio of all places!) and of course, BATTLECROSS! So metal. So awesome. So hatredy.

That's the latest goings on. 8 weeks left at The Filthy Gunslinger, and counting.

Radio Silence

S'up Y'all!

So, there has been some SEVERE radio silence on my part for a couple of... er... a long-ass time. The reason for this is that I have been abducted by aliens and carried off to their homeworld. It has been really hard finding an internet connection here, but I finally found a cafe with some decent wifi, and thought I better check in.

The latest goings on:

1) Med school. It is starting in 5 months. Where will I be matriculating? I don't know yet. I have an acceptance at a Boston School, but I am waiting to hear from one other school that I am very interested in. Until that all shakes out, I am...

2) Still working at the Filthy Gunslinger: Cafe and Male-Strippery. Work is fine but boring as hell. I feel like I am just killing time, but as far as killing time goes, you could do worse I suppose. As an aside, one of the coffees we serve at the Filthy Gunslinger is called Vanilla Nut Cream. Most of us call it "va-NILLA nut cream", but one of the guys there called it "va-nilla NUT CREAM", and it was funny...

3) Facebook. I was one of the first 1000 people on it back when it started (2003-ish?). I am a pioneer damn it! But essentially since I signed up, I was never really in to it. In the last week, I found that actually, Facebook can be kind of cool. I've been in touch with old friends that I have ignored for a long time, and I am meeting new friends who are also heading to med school in the Fall. So that's cool.

Other than that all and getting abducted by aliens who want to probe my tender bottom, there has really not been much going on, hence the radio silence.

BUT...

That is all about to change. Well, not right away, but soon. Because soon I will be introducing my Brand-Spanking-New Blog-About-Being-A-Real-Ass-Med-Student-Blog!! (That's "REAL-ass med student", not "real ASS-Med student"...words, hehe)

I look forward to you looking forward to reading about my misadventures in med school. Until then, hold on to your butts, cause it's going to be bedlam baby!


P.S. The Mona Lisa above is holding the (almost) exact guitar that I play! A seven-string Ibanez! Woot!

Talkin' Snitch and Riding Switch

Someone somewhere on the internet recently posed this question: if someone lies to med school admissions committees about their experiences and then gets an acceptance to med school, do you have a moral responsibility to snitch on them?

Answer = No. Snitching is wrong, and you should mind your own beeswax, and karma will sort them out. Who are you to say what is right and wrong? Maybe fate wanted that person to get in, and didn't mind them bending the truth.

but...

Answer = Yes. This is med school we are talking about. That person will have someone's life in their hands someday. If have no integrity, is that even safe for patients?

hmm...

Final answer = I guess so, yes. If you know for sure that someone lied or cheated their way in to med school, you should probably say something. Karma may be a bitch, but in my experience, a lazy bitch. I mean, if someone lied or cheated their way in to law school, they should probably get a medal, and will probably graduate at the top of their class lol. But when a doctor takes shortcuts, people die...

In unrelated news, I went ridin' today! As in, snowboarding. The slopes around Metalton finally opened up. I got my board out, waxed that ass, and ripped it up! It was so sweet. The only thing is that I forgot my goggles at home, so I ended up with frikkin ice burn all up on my face. Ouch. But awesome.

Next time, I must get a baclava for my face... Also, Heavy Metal Vixen. Badass snowboarding chica.

Free money: clothed people need not apply.

So you may or may not know that medical school costs more than a black market human liver. For the cost of your med school education, you could buy a Mclaren F1. You could buy 300 televisions, all of them 60" flat-screen LCD's, and cover every wall of your house with high-def sweetness. You could buy 100 purebred Arabian racehorses, and then hire 100 nuns to race them in the Kentucky Derby. In green-man costumes.

For the cost of a med school education, I could resurrect Kim Jong Il, buy him a Batman costume, and hire him to fight crime in Gotham.

So on my last day off before I go back to work tomorrow, I thought it would be smart to start looking for scholarships. I thought I might find some that are specific-ish to me. You know, scholarship for people of Germanic descent. Scholarships for people with research background.

Well, here is what I found instead:

1) Scholarship for Excellence in Predicting the Future

This is an actual scholarship. It is for people who are able to predict the economic trends in the stock market and stuff like that. You know what? If they can predict the stock market, why the fuck do they need a scholarship!?

2) Sophie Major Memorial Duck Calling Scholarship

This is an actual scholarship. For people who can call ducks with one of those duck whistles. That's right. If you can make ducks appear by blowing on a whistle, they'll give you money. Now, I don't mean to belittle the memory of Sophie Major, but was she so passionate about duck calling that she thought it warranted a scholarship? Apparently I am from the wrong part of America to understand this. Fair enough... but get this:

3) American Nudist Research Library Scholarship

This is an actual scholarship. If you do significant research in to nudity, you can get money. Really nudists? Really? Research this, nudists: why do you all gots to show us your shameful, shameful bodies? Any why is there no such thing as a hot nudist?

4) National Marbles Tournament Scholarship

Money for playing with my balls? I'm in.





5) Frederick and Mary F. Beckley Scholarship

For lefties. You know what? That's racist, sir.

Anyways, that's all. Also, I just have to throw this family portrait in the mix:

Also, I have been listening to a lot of Gojira. Awesome metal band out of France. Plus, if you ever get the urge to listen to literally 4 minutes and 20 seconds of people screaming bloody murder, listen to the track 1990 Quatrillions De Tonnes. Seriously, lol.

What...to do....now...?

And now that I have finally gotten in to med school, after months and years of waiting for test scores and secondary applications and interview invites and final decisions and letters in the mail, what am I doing?

Waiting for med school to start, haha!

I have about 7 months to kill, so I figured I should be proactive and use those 7 months for good, or perhaps for evil, but either way I ought to use them. I suppose there are many good and useful things you could do in 7 months:

1) Write a book. It could be the next great American novel. Or perhaps a biography of Ronnie James Dio. I'm pretty sure you could write a full-length book in 7 months.

2) Get pumped like Arnold Schwartzenegger. I bet if you worked out constantly, you could basically get into Mr. Universe shape...

3) Learn to shred. I mean really burn on the electric guitar. Right now, I am like lightning on the old fretboard. My fingers are a blur. But if I practiced hard for 7 months, I could be faster than greased lightning, and my fingers would be invisible.

4) Train my cat Bobbins Chookums Magellan Mouse-Destroyer 3000 to be a circus cat. He will dive through flaming hoops of death in to an 8 ounce cup of water. Or, more likely knowing my cat, he will stare intently at the flaming hoops of death for a few seconds, and then become distracted and/or fall asleep.

5) Train myself for the World Beer-Chugging Championships. True story: the guitar player in my band in college was a national beer-chugging champion. In Ireland, bitch. I didn't believe him at first, so I challenged him. We both poured a pint in to glasses, and on the count of 3, started drinking. 2 seconds later, I had drunk about 1/5 of my pint, and he had finished his. It was a thing of beauty. I've never seen anything like it. He has somehow figured out a way to just open his throat so he can literally pour it in to his stomach. Is that physiologically possible? I don't know. Yes, I guess...

Anyways, yeah. Right now, I just feel like I am killing time at my job at the Filthy Gunslinger. My work is alternately tolerable and mind-suckingly boring. [sigh...] I'll let you know when I select my big project.